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Purple Hat Swims California's Highest Lakes
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 Purple Hat* Swims California's Highest Lakes is a book dealing with Purple Hat's attempt to swim California's 18 lakes 12,500' or higher in August, 2008.
The book is hilarious, scary, and profound.
The book has 121 pages of text, and 37 pages of full color images.
* almost
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_p1.jpg) Bee On Way To Friend
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Copyright-2
Other books coming soon from Purple Hat-3
Dedication page-4
Thanks-5
List of images-7
Introduction-9
Foreword-11
Warning!-12
2 days before: Carbo and fluid loading-13
1 day before: Gas mask blues-14
Day 1: The Clampetts go backpacking-17
Day 2: “Hi!”-20
Day 3: “Lead, follow, or get the Hell out of the way!”-22
Day 4: Reviewing my contract-24
Day 5: Very loud scream-25
Day 6: Jawbone blues-30
Day 7: Run out of TP?-31
Day 8: Sisyphus-34
Day 9: I can resist anything but temptation-36
Day 10: “Purple Hat is a wimp!”-40
Day 11: Night hiking blues-43
Day 12: “Excuse me buddy, do you have any spare dynamite I can borrow?”-45
Day 13: The day I became a photographer-49
Day 14: Celebration time-51
Day 15: Trails are for wimps-53
Day 16: Swimming California’s highest lake!-part 1-56
Day 16. Swimming California’s highest lake!-part 2-60
Day 17: What a day!-67
Day 18: “Purple”-73
Day 19: Kern-76
Day 20: Storm on Mt. Whitney-78
Day 21: Let’s get physical-80
My gear-84
Purchase considerations and strategy-98
The Sierra Cleanse-101
Getting ready physically and mentally-109
Other preparations-111
Things I will do differently next time-112
Stuff my damn, stupid, and way too expensive lawyer Mortimer, insists I relate-113
Postscript-114
Purple Hat’s next adventure-116
Special forms-117
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_p1.jpg) Green Patterns
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1 DAY BEFORE: GAS MASK BLUES
We all woke up feeling great. The contestants certainly seemed subdued as they packed to leave. Apparently the contest had been declared a tie, as they all drank everything they had equally. Even though there weren’t any winners , there were some losers: the poor brain cells that had been sacrificed during the evening’s ritual, ala the virgin being taken to the top of the Aztec steps and having her heart cut out by, incredibly, an Aztec holy man , but in this case, I think they were smashed to death by the bottom of a 1.75 liter bottle!
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_p1.jpg)
Flowers & Darwin Basin Creek
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DAY 1: THE CLAMPETTS GO BACKPACKING
I was definitely taking a full load. In fact, I was taking a full load plus! GOLITE would probably have been proud, or aghast, to see how much stuff I had in and on their day pack! In fact, my pack looked like it had been packed by The Beverly Hillbillies. You remember how when Jed Clampet and his family first drive into Beverly Hills on Rodeo Drive that funky old car of his has stuff hanging here and there? My pack looked just like that. I had stuff hanging here, and there, and there, and even stuff hanging off of stuff that was hanging!
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 Purple Hat Lake #5
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DAY 3: “LEAD, FOLLOW, OR GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!”
I heard something that sounded like it came from behind me, and turned around to see what it was. I saw no one. I continued trudging along, and heard the same sound, but this time tinged with some urgency, almost anger. I again saw no one. But this time I looked all around, and there on the ground was a very small snail, asking me to “lead, follow, or get the Hell out of the way!”, as it “had a party to go to, and at this rate it would arrive late, assuming it hadn’t already ended!” I said I was sorry and stepped aside and watched as it slimed its way past me. Was I really going that slow? I never saw the snail again! I must have been!
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 Mt. Whitney Rock, Moss & Water
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DAY 5: VERY LOUD SCREAM
Standing there, my breathing slowed to the point that I heard something that I didn’t recognize. What was that sound?
I’d been all over the Sierras, had heard all kinds of sounds, but I couldn’t make out that sound.
I’d heard joyful sounds, like a chirping or singing bird, or water rushing downhill, or wind blowing through a grove of aspen trees.
I’d heard annoying sounds, like the sound of some woman bitching out her backpacking partner for who knows what he did or didn’t do , or the sound of a horse urinating in the trail right where I'd soon be walking, or even worse, the sound of a swarm of mosquitoes attacking me!
I’d also heard scary sounds, like a tree that had died and fallen, but had gotten hung up on another tree before hitting the trail, and when the wind is just right, they make a groaning sound, or lightening flashes followed almost immediately by thunder, or perhaps even worse, the sounds those ghosts made as they followed me in the brush on my 40 day and night journey when I’d left the haunted Iva Bell Hot Springs!
Some sounds had even been mysterious in nature, like the sound from the tree that fell off to my right one day.
And then I realized what that sound was: melting water! Not only was I soon going to have to swim across a lake that had a glacier on its west side, but the glacier was melting, and oh woman, the melted glacier water was running down the glacier and . . and . . . dropping in the lake!
As I came up from my dive, I let out a very loud scream for it was cold! Very cold! I felt like needles were sticking me everywhere . My arms sliced into the water ahead of me, then pulled powerfully under me, while my legs kicked up and down, propelling me across the lake. I could see some of the submerged rocks slide by , not that I had the time or desire to study them.
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 Purple Hat Lake #1 & Glacier
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DAY 12: “EXCUSE ME BUDDY, DO YOU HAVE ANY SPARE DYNAMITE I CAN BORROW?”
As I was looking for a piece of dirt big enough to accommodate a 6” hole , which in this rocky environment seemed next to impossible, I saw a monarch butterfly on the ground, so I put my finger down, and after a try or 2, it was in my left hand. Stretching out its wings, it filled my palm. Tiring of my inane conversation, it left shortly and flew away, probably with a tale of horror “He was so dirty and smelly! I hope I didn’t catch anything!”
Why does the Ant Service require us to dig these 6” holes? They must never have dug one of these themselves, otherwise they’d know you need a steam shovel, a case of dynamite, and a hardened work crew of 10.
I mean really, they don’t require the animals to dig 6”, or 5”, or 4”, or 3”, or 2” or even a lousy 1” hole before they do their business! I’ve seen horse business lying right on the top of the ground. Oh woman, have I seen it! I’ve seen it, stepped on it, kicked it, walked through clouds of it after it has dried and become pulverized and airborne, and battled my way through hordes of flies at a fresh horse poop party intent on sharing the joy they’ve experienced by kissing me! And I’ve also seen bear poop , deer poop, marmot poop, mountain lion poop, and I’m sure if I looked hard enough, butterfly poop, mosquito poop, and even the poop from those little itty bitty orange bugs that are so small that you can barely see them crawling along the trail.
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 Mt. Whitney Storm
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LIST OF IMAGES
1. Purple Hat Lake #4
2. Purple Hat high on El Cap’s Tangerine Trip
3. Bee On Way To Friend
4. Darwin Basin Creek
5. Lupine
6. Path to Col
7. Mt. Darwin
8. Darwin Basin Lakes
9. Flowers & Darwin Basin Creek
10. Jawbone Blues
11. Safire Lake
12. So Sensual Bright Lime Green Whatever
13. Wanda Lake
14. Moss Underwater
15. Trees & Moon
16. A Backpacker Slower Than I
17. White Sandy Beach
18. Siren Song
19. top left. Rare Blue Flower
20. top right. New Purple Flower #1
21. bottom left. New Purple Flower #2
22. bottom right. 2’ Underwater Yellow & White Flower
23. “Silva” Lake
24. Green Patterns
25. Upper Rae Lake Island
26. North of Glen Pass
27. Rock Primrose
28. Junction Peak
29. Purple Hat Lake #14
30. Purple Hat Lake #1 & Glacier
31. Purple Hat Lake #1 Crystal Clear Water
32. Purple Hat Lake #5
33. Violet Flowers
34. Mt. Whitney Rock, Moss, & Water
35. Sunset From Lake Of South America
36. Caltech Peak
37. Average Looking Duck
38. Mt. Whitney Storm
39. Hero One Day, Goat The Next
40. Excuse Me Buddy, But Did You Say Your Name Was Purple Hat Or Purple Bra?
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